I recently wrote an entire article about men with narcissistic personality disorder or NPD. It’s a helpful article; you can read it here.
I thought I’d put this issue behind me, at least from a blogging standpoint.
I was mistaken.
I know a woman who is now divorced from a narcissistic man. She recently wrote a blog article, herself, about her struggles with divorce, and how she’d felt depressed and questioned her self-worth, but eventually learned to overcome her struggles and find her best self.
The point of her article, kind of like this one, was to offer hope to the women who read it.
But someone else read it. Her ex.
And he threatened to sue her for defamation.
The center of the universe
As I’d noted in my previous article, men with NPD, or even those whom I might call “NPD adjacent,” can’t see the world through anyone’s eyes but their own. So, what is rightfully, and legally, community property will often be referred to, by this man, as “my money.”
It was the same case here. This woman was writing a self-help blog article, talking about her own struggles, with an intent to help other women… and this guy could only perceive that it was all about him. So, he lawyered up, and they fired off a cease-and-desist letter.
Not so fast
If you’re saying to yourself, at this point, “Hey, wait a minute. This guy doesn’t have a leg to stand on,” you’re right. But you’re not a lawyer. Problems like this need to be addressed properly.
Which is what my friend did. I referred her to a great lawyer, who fired back a veritable heat-seeking missile which not only refuted the original letter’s claims, but added some juicy tidbits (which I naturally can’t reveal here), which made it clear that the woman had a lot more ammunition here, to spare, than her ex.
The letter closed, politely, with an offer to change two or three words in the woman’s original blog post, as a courtesy.
You could say that this letter was two percent carrot, and 98 percent stick.
(I think she should frame it!)
Anyway, with the help of this attorney and the great counter-letter, my friend prevailed.
But the point remains: If you’re in the process of dissolving a marriage from either a legitimate NPD or “NPD adjacent” man, you need a well-rounded team on your side: A great attorney. Likely a therapist, to help you maintain your sanity and self-worth. And absolutely a financial pro like me. I’m a CPA, a Certified Financial Planner™ professional, and a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® professional, and will always put your interests first… no matter how narcissistic your ex may be.